2, May, 24

The Most Bizarre Secret Lair Ever has Just Been Revealed

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Article at a Glance

If you didn’t hear, the Equinox Secret Lair sale has concluded. Some products from that sale sold out incredibly quickly, making the more desirable Secret Lairs quite difficult to acquire. If you were a fan of the Fallout Secret Lairs trying to hunt that Mana Vault or were in love with the Tarot-style offerings from the Artist Series: Rovina Cai Secret Lair, like many were, you may have been left disappointed.

Now, a new Spring Superdrop is starting to reveal its colors to the world. We already saw an incredibly surprising new crossover in the form of Hatsune Miku. Today, we have yet another odd Secret Lair. This one isn’t a crossover but… well, you need to see it to believe it.

The art on each card is rather gorgeous, but what truly jumps off the page is the text. Each card’s title and rules text feature a mish mash of capital and lower-case letters, almost like the Secret Lair is something straight out of a meme. This is no joke though, and there are some pricy reprints to behold.

Torment of Hailfire

Kicking off the strange sAnS mErCy Secret Lair which goes live May 13, 2024, we have a card that can completely take over a Commander game if you have the mana to spare. Torment of Hailfire is an awesome late-game payoff that puts each of your opponents into a bind. Sacrificing a bunch of permanents isn’t ideal, but if they don’t have cards in hand to pitch or a bunch of life to pay, they may not have a choice.

Torment of Hailfire

The key is getting to make sure X is a high number. If you’re playing green, ramping into this card shouldn’t be a problem. If you’re in mono-black, cards like Crypt Ghast can help ensure Torment will be devastating when you cast it.

While the Secret Lair version may certainly look weird, Torment is honestly an excellent card to see get a reprint. It debuted in Hour of Devastation, and outside of showing up on The List, has yet to see another reprint in paper. It sits at roughly $20 in its cheapest traditional form according to TCGPlayer market price. Considering that most individual Secret Lair products go on sale for $29.99 in non-foil, Torment of Hailfire might nearly pay for this Secret Lair itself!

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Unsurprisingly, given how expensive Torment of Hailfire is, there’s a pretty big drop-off between it and the other cards in the Secret Lair. Still, all five cards are reasonable inclusions in Commander.

Ruination, in particular, is an absolutely brutal card. Almost all multi-color Commander decks utilize a decent number of Dual Lands. On top of that, many utility Lands, such as Field of the Dead or Gaea’s Cradle, can give one player a massive advantage. If you’re playing mono-red or your color requirements aren’t stretched too far, Ruination can be a good tool to keep everyone else in check. Just be careful. Not every play group is a big fan of mass Land destruction.

Ruination may not be quite on the level of Torment of Hailfire, but it still holds a $6 price tag in its cheapest form. On top of that, the powerful Sorcery has yet to see a reprint in well over a decade.

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Mogis, God of Slaughter

Mogis, God of Slaughter

Like many Secret Lairs printed in the Equinox Superdrop, this Secret Lair featured a powerful legend with unique art. If you’re looking to add extra pizzazz to your next Rakdos EDH deck, Mogis, God of Slaughter delivers. Mogis is a bit of an unassuming card at first. After all, taking two damage a few times isn’t too big of a deal in a 40-life format.

However, the longer Mogis sits in play, the more the life loss hurts. If you build your Mogis deck with an aggressive slant, your opponents will feel the heat rather quickly. If they sacrifice board presence, they lose precious blockers. Add in ways to increase Mogis’s damage output like Ojer Axonil, Deepest Might and your opponent will be put in a pickle.

Mogis has appeared only in Born of the Gods and in the Theros Stargazing: Vol. IV, with the latter only version only in foil. Born of the Gods variants sit at about $8.

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Massacre is an interesting pseudo-board wipe from Nemesis. Similar to cards like Submerge, Massacre is overly costed for its affect, but has an alternate casting cost. In this case, you need an opponent to control a Plains and you to control a Swamp to be able to cast it for free.

Massacre has shown up from time to time in Legacy as a tool against Death and Taxes decks. In Commander, it can help clean up a slew of tokens on the cheap, assuming at least one of your opponents is playing white. The card may only be worth about 50 cents, but it has only appeared in Nemesis thus far and is finally getting some new art.

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Doom Blade

Doom Blade

Rounding things out, we have an iconic removal spell. The phrase “dies to Doom Blade” has become a bit overused, but this card was used to kill all sorts of big monsters back in the day. If your big threat didn’t have some sort of triggered ability or way to generate value immediately, you risked wasting a bunch of mana just to have it killed right away.

Doom Blade is merely an uncommon that has been reprinted multiple times. As such, it holds very little reprint value (under 15 cents). Still, it’s cool to see this well-known card get a Secret Lair printing.

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Total Value and Player Reaction

byu/R3id from discussion

Generally speaking, most players don’t seem super thrilled with the choice of text on this Secret Lair. It certainly gives the Secret Lair a unique vibe overall, but many players felt the awkward text detracts from otherwise beautiful artwork.

Some players noted that seeing this strange text on frustrating cards like Ruination could definitely heighten the tilt factor, which is a bit amusing. With this in mind, Rhystic Study actually seems like it could have been a slam dunk for this Secret Lair.

From a financial perspective, though, this Secret Lair is quite lucrative. Non-foil copies of Torment, Mogis, and Ruination add up to over $30, which is decent already. When factoring in foil versions (foil Secret Lairs usually go for $10 more than their non-foil counterparts) of these cards, things get even juicier. Massacre foils are worth about $23, which is a massive jump from Massacre’s non-foil price. Mogis also leaps to about $19, and Ruination has yet to receive a foil printing period.

Even with some of the negative feedback surrounding this Secret Lair, the card choices themselves make it a decent product to purchase. The title and rules text on these cards is odd, and the flavor text only heightens that feeling (Ruination’s flavor text is definitely something). Still, if you’re on the lookout for a Secret Lair with a different identity, make sure to take advantage when this Secret Lair drops in a couple weeks.

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