As a game that has been around for almost 30 years, it’s safe to say there are a lot of MTG cards. In fact, to date, Wizards has produced, teased, or spoiled over 26,000 cards! With this many cards having been created, it should come as no surprise that some of them are rather weird. Whether it be because of art, mechanics, or theme, there’s no shortage of unusual MTG cards. Typically, many of these weird cards are some of the oldest in Magic: the Gathering. Recently, however, a brand new card might be in content for the crown of most weird, as it’s absolutely baffling MTG players.
Vorinclex Is a Boat Now?!
Within March of the Machine, there’s no denying that there’s a whole lot of unique art in the set. While this isn’t uncommon in a modern MTG release, March of the Machine nevertheless takes it to a new extreme. Utilizing Booster Fun frames from Magic’s past and future, March of the Machine has a cacophony of different art styles. As if that wasn’t enough already, the set also features a handful of highly prized alternate art cards.
To make March of the Machine’s serialized Praetors cards that much more special, Wizards created new artwork for each card. Considering this artwork was exceedingly limited in supply, this quickly became a rather controversial decision. Lauded as being some of the set’s best art, many MTG players were understandably angered they couldn’t affordably acquire it. While there’s no denying that each serialized Praetor looks good, one Praetor, Vorinclex, is a little different. Vorinclex is a boat.
On their front face, Vorinclex is the same ol’ monstrous Praetor that everyone knows and loves. With artwork that makes them look as menacing as ever, this card easily fits within the lineup of other Praetors. When flipped over to The Grand Evolution, however, Vorinclex looks a little bit different. Rather than being a monument to the Praetor’s achievements or perfection, like the other Serialized cards, Vorinclex is just a big Phyrexian boat.
While The Grand Evolution does admittedly show a rather fancy-looking boat, we’re nevertheless left with so many questions. Is Vorinclex this boat? Is this what Vorinclex’s plans for evolution are? Are we all going to turn into boats? Why didn’t this boat feature in the story? Is this boat the next multiverse conquering Praetor? What’s going on? Where am I?
The Confused Masses
Even after this confounding detail was pointed out by u/Cartwheelbubblegum on Reddit, players were no closer to getting answers. In fact, if anything, the more players tried to understand what was going on, the more questions they had in the end. This was especially true following u/Cartwheelbubblegum’s explanation of the few details we do know.
“I understand the Praetors who flip into a saga shows their ‘ultimate goal’ on the backside. Vorinclex’s goal being evolving better and better.
He’s evolved into a Kaldheim boat on the front side and then evolved into a bigger boat on the backside. Consuming all of himself into the ultimate being… a Viking boat? lol did I miss something in the short stories??”
u/Cartwheelbubblegum
Trying to rationalize what we’re seeing on this card, Reddit user u/zeekoes offered one potential explanation of what’s happening. Initially theorizing, “it implies that Vorinclex leads the invasion in Kaldheim,” even Zeekoes noted this theory doesn’t hold water. After all, since Vorinclex doesn’t appear during the Kaldheim invasion at all, it certainly doesn’t “correspond with the story.”
While it is possible that Vorinclex participated in the invasion of planes in his spare time, the story certainly doesn’t show it. For several players, this was a major complaint during the story, as the supposedly fearsome Praetors were left looking useless. “Probably my biggest gripe about the MOM story,” u/lDecoyl commented. The praetor cards depict them actively taking part in the invasion, but in the story, 2 are killed and the other 3 never leave New Phyrexia. Incredibly boring.”
With no proper explanation of what was happening, several MTG players on Reddit turned to meme-ing about this artwork instead. User u/hairToday243, for instance, joked that “Vorinclex’s ultimate goal was to buy a boat and take it out on the weekends with Glissa.” Meanwhile, other MTG players like u/madwookiee1 quipped Vorinclex is now “Boaty McBoatface, Phyrexian Raider.”
Thankfully, as funny as the memes are, one MTG player might actually have the right answer to explain what’s happening. As, in providing a serious answer to the situation, u/mramazing818 theorized, “All the alternate art Sagas are apparently just scenes from the invasion.”
“We have depictions of Realmbreaker, a Gitaxian behemoth attacking Kamigawa, the destroyed statue of Gerard on Dominaria, and… a red thing? Plus this boat. We can give a pass to Realmbreaker and the destroyed statue as representations of the praetors’ ultimate goals there, but it’s just weak art direction for the cycle I think.”
u/mramazing818
The Weirdness Continues
Ultimately, whatever the reason behind this befuddling art, it is actually possible Vorinclex could become a boat. After all, thanks to being beheaded toward the end of March of the Machine’s story, his head could become a literal figurehead on a ship. As funny as this might be, however, it seems unlikely this will happen, although we will be holding out hope.
At the end of the day, as weird as this art may be, it’s still far from the most confusing and strange artwork in all of MTG. After all, just look at the art on Ebon Praetor… What on earth is going on there? Failing that, Horrible Hordes is just… a lot. While artwork like this is already plenty weird, things could get even weirder. After all, should the plane of Xerex win the ongoing player vote, Magic may soon have an entire set full of reality-bending weirdness!
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