If there’s one thing the Horror genre is known for, other than teenagers dying in droves, it’s unnecessary sequels. Almost every Horror classic has a follow-up that fails to hit the mark. It seems that WotC is well aware of that, and even trying to lean into it in Duskmourn.
Player speculation went wild when it was announced that legendary banned enchantment The Meathook Massacre would be getting a direct sequel in the set. Today, Meathook Massacre II was revealed, and it barely holds a candle to the original MTG classic. Flavor win, I guess?
Meathook Massacre II MTG
- Mana Value: XXBBBB
- Rarity: Mythic Rare
- Card Text: When Meathook Massacre II enters, each player sacrifices X creatures. Whenever a creature you control dies, you may pay 3 life. If you do, return that card under your control with a finality counter on it. Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, they may pay 3 life. If they don’t, return that card under your control with a finality counter on it.
Meathook Massacre II kicked off this week’s episode of WeeklyMTG, and it immediately gave players a lot to think about. Lore-wise, for those wondering, the justification for this card’s existence is that the story of the original Meathook Massacre on Innistrad spread across the planes, got made into a movie on Duskmourn, and did well enough to get a sequel. Makes sense to me.
Design-wise, The card looks like a doubled-up version of the original Meathook at first glance. Rather than X and two black, this one costs two X and four black. That’s a pretty intense mana cost, and it’s at the heart of the major problems this card has.
With the original Meathook, the ability to just drop the card as an enchantment for two black and ignore the board wipe aspect was extremely valuable. The card was an excellent attrition engine for grindy decks, so doing so was often the correct play. With the sequel, this will rarely be possible. Yes, the passive effect here is more powerful, but four black is pretty much impossible to hit for anything but Mono-Black lists. Dropping it early will be tricky as a result. It’s also much more punishing to pass turn four completely than it is to do so on turn two, in most cases.
The double X also makes it difficult to get a lot of value out of the Edict effect as well. Eight mana is likely the absolute ceiling for this card in Standard, at which point your opponent is only sacrificing two things. At that stage of the game, a double Edict isn’t super exciting. Especially since it hits you as well. Sure, you may get to steal a creature or two, but your opponent will always have the final say here.
A Shoddy Sequel
- Mana Value: XBB
- Rarity: Mythic Rare
- Card Text: When The Meathook Massacre enters, each creature gets -X/-X until end of turn. Whenever a creature you control dies, each opponent loses 1 life. Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, you gain 1 life.
In a vacuum, Meathook Massacre II looks okay. It’s a powerful recursion engine in Commander, and can even steal some opposing creatures in the late game. The card’s name invites comparisons to the original, however, which are not flattering at all.
The original Meathook Massacre was a fairly efficient board wipe and a pseudo-Blood Artist rolled into one. It was great at stabilizing in the mid-game against aggro but also scaled up nicely later as well. The fact that it gave -X/-X got around Indestructible, and the fact that it dealt damage over time meant it was a reasonable win condition as well as a solid wipe.
The sequel, by contrast, isn’t efficient at all. It’s far too expensive, and the fact that your opponent gets to decide not only what creatures they sacrifice, but also whether you get those creatures or not, means it’s a lot less reliable than the original. This isn’t going to impact the board at all until turn six, and even then the effects will probably be minimal for X=1.
Honestly, it’s probably a good thing that they toned this card down. The original did end up banned in Standard, after all. Perhaps even more damning, it maintained a $40 price tag even after that happened, owing to its incredible power in Commander and Modern. A ‘fixed’ version like this is almost certainly better for the health of the game. Even if it’s less exciting for those looking to run the card in Standard.
Like most Horror sequels, I expect this one to get critically panned upon release. Although who knows, it may develop a cult following in time. In Commander, more than likely.
Read More: Duskmourn Zombie Jock Is A Serious Graveyard Threat
