You often hear the expression “life is a resource” in discussions around Magic: The Gathering, referring to the idea that you can spend all but one of your life recklessly if it leads to victory. While this is definitely true, it’s important to remember that all your other resources follow the same idea. It doesn’t matter if you win the game with a full board or an empty one, as long as you win it. This week, MTG players are re-learning this fundamental principle via Kaervek’s Spite, a Reserved List classic with one of the steepest costs you can imagine.
Kaervek’s Spite MTG
Late yesterday, MTG player EntertainmentVast401 started a thread discussing Kaervek’s Spite on r/magicTCG. The initial post slammed the card as “abysmal,” and challenged others to come up with good uses for it. At first glance, this is a very reasonable stance to take. Three mana for five face damage at instant speed isn’t the worst rate in the world, but the downsides on Kaervek’s Spite are severe. Not only does it come with a highly restrictive triple black cost, but it also demands that you discard your hand and sacrifice every permanent you own, lands included.
You’d think these comically-high costs would make the card useless, but the opposite is actually true. As many pointed out in the ensuing thread, Kaervek’s Spite is actually a card with some competitive history behind it. Around the time of its release in 1996’s Visions, the card was a popular option for Mono-Black Aggro decks, as a way to close out games. Black simply didn’t get direct damage effects like this back in the day, which made it a uniquely potent finisher for the strategy.
This legacy actually lives on in today’s Magic. In the Premodern format, which contains only cards printed between Fourth Edition and Scourge, the card reprises its finisher role in Mono-Black. Decks running the card see good results fairly regularly, like Pablo Riquelme’s list from earlier this month. It makes an excellent follow-up to a big swing with a board of creatures like Carnophage and Dauthi Slayer. You can even circumvent its mana cost with Dark Ritual, to bluff a lower damage total to your opponent. The downside of losing all your permanents is irrelevant, since this is often enough to end the game on the spot.
Surprising Spiteful Shenanigans
As was noted multiple times in EntertainmentVast401’s thread, a lot of the modern negative views on Kaervek’s Spite come from the perspective of MTG players who primarily play Commander. That said, there are some fun, and surprising, combos that the card enables in the format.
For starters, it’s a perfect enabler for those ever-elusive Barren Glory wins. Figuring out how to ditch your entire hand and board is the big puzzle with this card, and Kaervek’s Spite solves it in one move. You can either cast Spite with Glory on the stack then survive the ensuing turn cycle, or cast Spite just before your turn with Academy Rector out, then tutor up Glory for the win.
Another great use for Kaervek’s Spite is forcing your opponents to cast it instead of you. Sudden Substitution is the best option here, letting you not only wipe an opponent out of the game completely but also steal one of their creatures as well. If you’re feeling a bit more fair-minded, then Hive Mind can reset the entire table to nothing alongside Spite.
Finally, the card is a pretty solid addition to Aristocrats decks in Commander. While you’ll often have a sacrifice outlet available, savvy opponents will take them out fast. Spite gives you a way to ditch all of your creatures at once, easily ending the game in a cavalcade of Blood Artist triggers.
Kaervek’s Spite certainly isn’t a card every Commander deck will want, but the fact that there are use cases for it at all is pretty impressive.
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