High-toughness creatures play a crucial role in MTG, making for elite blockers and often outsizing burn spells. With this in mind, slower Midrange decks often incorporate these creatures to buy time against aggressive strategies, but it’s rare for a successful archetype to be entirely based on them.
Surprisingly, a dedicated “Big Butts” deck that instead offers an assertive game plan just top 4’d a Magic Online event, defying traditional logic!
Turning Defense into Offense
Early in the game, this deck leans on efficient, high-toughness creatures to halt opposing pressure. In the one-drop slot,
Aegis Turtle
Aegis Turtle
and
Armored Armadillo
Armored Armadillo
Ward {1} (Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player pays {1}.)
{3}{W}: This creature gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is its toughness.
do a great job holding down the fort.
Then, at two mana,
Caelorna, Coral Tyrant
Caelorna, Coral Tyrant
kicks things up a notch, hitting the board with a whopping eight toughness by itself! Even the beefiest of threats can’t attack into this Octopus, though Caelorna can’t do much on their own.
Caelorna does, however, let this deck turn the corner immediately with a few other cards. See, Caelorna’s toughness conveniently reduces the cost of
Ghalta the Immovable
Ghalta the Immovable
This spell costs {X} less to cast, where X is the greatest toughness among creatures you control.
Creatures you control can attack as though they didn't have defender.
Each creature you control with toughness greater than its power assigns combat damage equal to its toughness rather than its power.
to a mere one mana, and thanks to this Dinosaur’s final ability, you can immediately attack for a bunch of damage.
This deck can even jam Ghalta as early as turn two by pairing Aegis Turtle with either
Chase Inspiration
Chase Inspiration
Target creature you control gets +0/+3 and gains hexproof until end of turn. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control.)
or
Dive Down
Dive Down
Target creature you control gets +0/+3 and gains hexproof until end of turn. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control.)
. This sets you up to attack for eight damage that turn and 12 the next, which is just enough for lethal if your creatures are unblocked.
Notably, beyond making Ghalta easier to cast, these Hexproof enablers protect your burly creatures from removal. This makes it much easier to stick
Sheltered by Ghosts
Sheltered by Ghosts
Enchant creature you control
When this Aura enters, exile target nonland permanent an opponent controls until this Aura leaves the battlefield.
Enchanted creature gets +1/+0 and has lifelink and ward {2}.
without fear of getting blown out.
Voice of Victory
Voice of Victory
Mobilize 2 (Whenever this creature attacks, create two tapped and attacking 1/1 red Warrior creature tokens. Sacrifice them at the beginning of the next end step.)
Your opponents can't cast spells during your turn.
further helps the cause, ensuring your opponents can’t interact at all during your turn. Once Sheltered by Ghosts hits the board, all hope of your opponent ever racing you goes down the drain.
Obviously, though, there will be games where you don’t draw Ghalta, but luckily, this deck has some redundancy thanks to
The Kingpin of Crime
The Kingpin of Crime
Extort (Whenever you cast a spell, you may pay {W/B}. If you do, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain that much life.)
Whenever you attack, you may pay 2 life. If you do, until end of turn, creatures you control with toughness greater than their power assign combat damage equal to their toughness rather than their power.
. This Villain isn’t quite as explosive as Ghalta, but it still gets the job done.
The last piece of the puzzle is getting past a sea of blockers, which
Tetsuko Umezawa, Fugitive
Tetsuko Umezawa, Fugitive
Creatures you control with power or toughness 1 or less can't be blocked.
accomplishes by making your creatures unblockable. This makes a big difference against token makers like
Lunar Convocation
Lunar Convocation
At the beginning of your end step, if you gained life this turn, each opponent loses 1 life.
At the beginning of your end step, if you gained and lost life this turn, create a 1/1 black Bat creature token with flying.
{1}{B}, Pay 2 life: Draw a card.
.
High Risk, High Reward
Standard Big Butts’s biggest asset is its consistency, making it extremely strong at punishing unprepared opponents. Any curve involving one of your high-toughness creatures and either Ghalta or The Kingpin of Crime can create unwinnable games.
Red aggro decks, like Izzet Prowess and Rakdos Lizards, have very few ways to actually get any of your big creatures off the board. As a result, you’re never at risk of getting Ghalta stranded in hand, and you can hold back
Pompous Battlemage
Pompous Battlemage
Prowess
This creature enters prepared. (While it's prepared, you may cast a copy of its spell. Doing so unprepares it.)
or
Hired Claw
Hired Claw
Whenever you attack with one or more Lizards, this creature deals 1 damage to target opponent.
{1}{R}: Put a +1/+1 counter on this creature. Activate only if an opponent lost life this turn and only once each turn.
with ease. This lets your creatures buy a ton of time until you find your key pieces and win.
On the other hand, this deck’s ability to close games quickly is especially important against Mono-Green Landfall. After all, your blockers won’t hold back a big Trampling
Mossborn Hydra
Mossborn Hydra
Trample (This creature can deal excess combat damage to the player or planeswalker it's attacking.)
This creature enters with a +1/+1 counter on it.
Landfall — Whenever a land you control enters, double the number of +1/+1 counters on this creature.
for long, but you can easily win a race by just attacking.
Unfortunately, this deck doesn’t have much recourse against opponents who can break up your synergies. One of the easiest ways to lose a game is to get your Ghalta or Kingpin stripped by
Deceit
Deceit
When this creature enters, if {U}{U} was spent to cast it, return up to one other target nonland permanent to its owner's hand.
When this creature enters, if {B}{B} was spent to cast it, target opponent reveals their hand. You choose a nonland card from it. That player discards that card.
Evoke {U/B}{U/B}
out of Reanimator, and never find another copy.
To make matters worse, Dimir Reanimator’s removal suite doesn’t care about your high-toughness threats. While your Dive Down effects do help against
Requiting Hex
Requiting Hex
As an additional cost to cast this spell, you may blight 1. (You may put a -1/-1 counter on a creature you control.)
Destroy target creature with mana value 2 or less. If this spell's additional cost was paid, you gain 2 life.
and
Bitter Triumph
Bitter Triumph
As an additional cost to cast this spell, discard a card or pay 3 life.
Destroy target creature or planeswalker.
, they still fold to
Strategic Betrayal
Strategic Betrayal
Target opponent exiles a creature they control and their graveyard.
and
Day of Black Sun
Day of Black Sun
Each creature with mana value X or less loses all abilities until end of turn. Destroy those creatures.
.
In a similar vein, control decks also have access to efficient board wipes like
Day of Judgment
Day of Judgment
Destroy all creatures.
that demolish any progress you’ve made. Beating a string of Sunderflocks out of Izzet Spellementals is extremely difficult, too.
This mixed bag of strengths and weaknesses makes this Esper Big Butts deck a risky deck choice. Still, if you can dodge some of your worse matchups, you may be able to cruise through a tournament with no issue. So, if you’re interested in trying unorthodox strategies like this one, Esper Big Butts may be right up your alley.
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